Saturday, December 19, 2009

Christmas Confession

Hi.  My name is JoniB and I am not a Christian.

There.  It’s public.  Whew!

I used to be a “born again” Bible-thumping idiot in high school.  I had religious stickers all over my notebooks, I wore religious pins on my work uniform, I had the supplemental books, music, and etc.  I was pretty damned icky in those days.  But, cutting myself some slack, I was in high school and wanted to belong.  Amazingly, I had some really cool friends who stood by me anyway.

Flash forward 25 years.  I’m sitting at a bus stop in the Phoenix summer heat trying to talk to my daughter.  A younger man, who I’ll affectionately call “Bible-Bob” walks up and hands out Christian propaganda to everyone.  I refuse it saying that I’m already there.  Mistake.  He wants to “share.”  I politely but curtly answer and turn back to my daughter.  Several times this happens.  Finally, he gets so frustrated that I – a woman – am not giving him – a man – the attention he deserves, so he tells me that I’m not a true believer because I’m wearing men’s clothes.  (As usual, I think of my snappy comeback YEARS later.  Dammit.)  Anyway, it degenerates into a yelling match.  He wins because he got me angry. 

Flash forward 10 years – today.  After that incident, blended with researching and observing other religions (click here), I see three main points:  they are all man-made theologies, they are led by men who want money, and they show their fear of women by using their religious dogma to keep them under control.  Bible-Bob wants women in skirts & dresses.  If Bobby had done any thinking for himself, he’d know that I was wearing jeans for the same reason he was not wearing robes.  Fashion and function.  Men started wearing pants in the 1500’s (pockets were invented in 1540).  Women were kept in dresses for easy access to sex.  (They didn’t wear underwear.) 

Look at the Orthodox Jews.  Women have to keep their hair covered or wear that ugly wig.  They also have to keep their elbows and knees covered – but still wear skirts.  What is that all about?  The Taliban and other Middle Eastern beliefs have women enveloped in sheets.  Men blame women for having sexual thoughts.  Hello?  Isn't that the old primal "survival of the species" urge?  (I won’t even go into where I believe some men store their brains.)

Okay, so where do I go from here?  What is it that I DO believe?  I honestly don’t know yet.  When I walk to work in the pre-dawn darkness, I still feel the need to pray.  I just don’t know who is on the other end of the phone.