Wednesday, September 16, 2009

When I Turned 50

When I turned 50, I took inventory:

When I turned 50, I gained what?
Weight, yes okay
Saggy boobs, yes okay
Creaks and groans, hell yes okay

When I turned 50 I gained freedom
Bible Bob’s unchristian words vaporized
I wear pants because he doesn’t wear robes
But he’s deaf to a woman in jeans

When I turned 50 I gained knowledge
I’m just fine without a college degree
I can read and write anyway
And it’s okay not to know

When I turned 50 I gained a life
Metal music does not lead to Satan or drugs
So that’s Metallica
Hello Ozzy!

When I turned 50, I gained a soul
I “got it” when I read a poem
The schoolroom could no longer suck it dry
The red wagon was just a red wagon

When I turned 50, I gained myself
I don’t have to wear makeup
I don’t have to wear heels
I can wear the skin I’m in now