Saturday, September 19, 2009

On the eve of the funeral.

I sat on the metal folding chair too long. My butt was numb and my hip started to send shooting pains down my thigh. I shifted and squirmed in an effort to ease the discomfort. But I didn't leave. The preacher was a contractor for the funeral home. He didn't know the guy in the casket. Neither did I but I lied and said he was my cousin. A few faked tears and they left me alone.

I am a ghost hunting junkie. I watched every episode of Ghost Whisperer and now I follow Ghost Hunters on TV. I read everything I can find on the internet, too. But I never saw a ghost in person. Or, rather, in the non-person. So there I sat. Waiting.

I'd read that a person sticks around for ten days after they die before they go into the light. This guy died on Tuesday. He had to show up sometime. I squinted in the low light. I didn't say anything aloud because I knew there were other people in the building. Once I almost asked the janitor if he ever saw anyone, but I was afraid he'd squeal on me and I'd get kicked out.

The low chime of the clock in the hallway let me know it was two in the morning. The mortician finally gave up trying to get me to leave. He had to stay, of course. State law. So about eleven, he brought me a cup of water and told me that he'd be in his office lying down should I need anything. I heard a door click shut a moment later and then nothing since. I'm guessing he doesn't snore.

Just when I came to the conclusion that I was an idiot for doing this and stood up, there was a flash of dark in the corner. Darker than the dark. Just like on TV. I looked again. Then I pulled out the digital voice recorder and said, "I'll do some EVP work now." The dark left. The overhead light snapped on and the mortician guy glared at me.

I walked out to my car feeling like a fool. Sliding behind the wheel, I adjusted my rear-view mirror. The dark shape sat in the back seat. It said, "I was wondering when the hell you'd finally leave. Let's get out of here."

(This is not one of my better pieces.  I was just not inspired to write tonight.  Sorry.)