Sunday, April 27, 2008

Bit of a letdown.

I made sure I ate a good breakfast this morning so that I could take all my pills this morning, including the first HRT. I guess I was expecting instant results but it isn’t what I got. Right in the middle of grocery shopping this morning, I was hit with the heavy chest, hard thumping heart, and numb lips that accompany the anxiety/panic attack I’ve been getting so much lately.

I started to breathe deeper and kept myself calm as I finished the errand. When I got home and put everything away (or it would be sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor until I did regardless of refrigeration requirements) I sat down and took my blood pressure. Still feeling a bit anxious, my rate was 116/76 with a pulse of 79. No, it was a solid anxiety/panic attack.

So I’ve been spending the last 3 hours or so online looking for a way to enjoy a tiny bit of a vacation away. Looks like it is not going to happen. Many great ideas for possible future vacations, but not in the next decade, I fear.

Time to start buying lottery tickets, I guess!