I don’t remember when it changed. Recently I discovered that I welcome the night and the peace it brings to my fenced-in and locked-tight corner of the world. Outside the sirens, horns, and gunshots have control. Not here.
My daylight hours are filled with clocks, traffic, computers, meetings, deadlines, photocopiers, telephones, and loud whining voices. The noise makes it difficult to focus sometimes. There is no privacy, no respite even in the restroom. Everyone knows what everyone else thinks and does. It is hard to breathe.
Night settles down like a hen in her nest. I sit quietly with my glass of wine or cordial of brandy and a computer keyboard or a good book in front of me. When the weather permits, I sit outside and breathe in the twilight and smell the quiet air. My dogs lay in the grass; ears perked, noses twitching, listening to the latest news in the neighborhood. It is only then that the tightly squeezing fist of stress lets go of my chest.
I can breathe at night.